It’s definitely been a long while.
To be honest, I guess my mental health has retaken a bit of a dive. Fortunately, things did not get as bad as they did last year.
Perhaps it’s a bit of an existential crisis? I’ve already alluded that hindsight can be a cruel mistress, but I can’t stop thinking that I could’ve been a much better person than I currently am.
I’ve just started reading a self-help book, “Unfuck Your Brain.” I know I’ve got issues, and I need to work through them if I want to start feeling really positive about myself. My cultural upbringing didn’t really do me many wonders, but ultimately, I allowed it to warp my mindset.
I’ll be using the diary app “Grid Diary” to examine myself closely. You can expect to see several excerpts from “Grid Diary” in future posts as I attempt to, bluntly speaking, “unfuck” my brain.
I have gotten into the manga series “Ya Boy Kongming,” which makes for fascinating reading. Long story short, the titular ancient Chinese strategist wishes to be reborn in a peaceful world on his deathbed. He drifts off and immediately wakes up in the middle of a Halloween party in modern-day Tokyo, blessed with a restored body and modern language skills. Kongming then pledges to help an aspiring singer spread her music throughout the world, and makes full use of the Shibuya party scene to network and embrace his second chance at life.
We also learn that keeping track of running tabs and serving countless alcoholic beverages is much easier than brewing tea in ancient East Asia.
Regret can be a downer drug, but it’s definitely possible for me to “unfuck” my brain enough to channel it in a positive way. In the manga, Kongming threw himself into the partying scene to make up for his refusal to honour the men who would die for him. I only have one life, but as I’m still in my early thirties, there’s still some time for me to become an even better person.
I just need to grab the opportunity by the throat.